With all that’s been going on I feel like he would be better off without me. I just want him to be happy and obviously I’m not doing too great of a job at that. Every time we get happy I somehow ruin it and then it’s just horrible. I don’t know why I do it. I don’t think I try to. It’s just how I am. And I guess it’s how I’ll always be…. I just wish I could change so I could make him happy and keep him happy. Without doing anything sexual. That’s when he seems the most happy and that’s why I keep doing stuff with him…. Why must it come to this… I just want us to be happy and him to be happy. With or without me. Sure ill be totally ruined but if it makes him happy then I’ll be happy for him. I do love him more than I ever thought I would. I love every imperfection he hates. I love everything about him. Especially how weird he is, always keeping me laughing. I guess that I’ll always be easily angered and forever getting upset and I already know one day I’m gonna push him to his point and it won’t be good at all…
Till that time comes
Forever a hopeless romantic who messes things up.
Holy fuck I want you with me right now. I want to talk to you. I want to cuddle with you. I want to laugh with you. I want to kiss you.I want to listen to how your day was, learn all your fears, dreams, favorites, and what you want your life to look like. I want to stare into your eyes and not say anything because there is no need for words. I want to love you. But most of all, I want you to want me too.